Polska, Sucka!

Writing a webcomic about the effects of human trafficking is gut-wrenching enough. Knowing that this is a reality is even more devastating to the human psyche. I don’t have the answers on how we as a society can solve the problem of human-trafficking. However, this documentary by photogenX will certainly, shock and awaken people into awareness of this mind-boggling issue, as well as the hope of a modern-day abolitionist movement.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4323bRWrj0

All the Suckas, United! FAQs that are currently still relevant have been moved here, as the old LJ community is phased out.  I also moved the Extras gallery here, and nuked the old Suckaverse site out of existence.  In other words, the migration is complete!

New comic coming Wednesday.  Be there, or be a rhombus.

Polska, Sucka!’s completely irreverent book and thing reviews are back, after a 2-year disappearance. All reviews are done by the characters of the Suckaverse and are completely tasteless. Be sure to click on the Literate Illiterate tag to check them out.

Today’s review is for Lady Cottington’s Pressed Fairy Book by Brian Froud and Terry Jones. A special thanks goes out to Mark Masters for sending us a copy to review.

Rocket: For a kid’s book this thing sure has a lot of boobs.

Dmitri: Squeezy, mushed-up boobs.

Skylark: (Giggling stupidly through his nose until cackling bursts through.) How in the hell can you say that with a straight face?

Dmitri: (Mock-crying but actually laughing out loud.) Fairies died a hideous crunchy death to bring us… I can’t. Bear… Gods-dammit where are my meds?

Rocket: Well, at least they have that one section with the weird paper thingy that help protect the innocent from becoming perverted. It did protect your innocence, right Laisandra?

Laisandra: It did not, it merely taunted it and stomped it to a pulp of nothing. I see nothing humorous about a book glorifying the death of fairies.

Dmitri: You see nothing humorous about anything.

Laisandra: So what if I don’t. Fairies are beautiful creatures of fantasy. Delicate and precious, like angels of G-d. But, this Lady Cottington just crushes them like the dreams of a thousand starving children living in the rotting corpse of what used to be a third world country. This book glorifies death, and the destruction of beauty. It is the face of humanity. That wicked disease, humanity is a festering boil upon the universe. Life is worthless. It makes me want to die.

Rocket: (Comforting) Honey, it’s just a funny book with disturbingly pretty watercolor paintings of crushed fairies and a cool fake journal by this one lady that doesn’t even exist. The older version of her is played by Terry Jones on the DVD that comes with the book.

Dmitri: (Laughing Maniacally) Terry Jones in drag is hilarious.

Skylark: (Flippant) In other words, it’s comedic fiction. Don’t take it too seriously, you teenage drama queen.

Rocket: Has anybody ever told you that you’re an asshole?

Skylark: Repeatedly.

Dmitri: (Laughing Obnoxiously) Have some vodka, you can be an asshole too.

Rocket: Dude, you drink way too much.

Skylark: Rocket, you drink bootleg Everclear straight until you puke blood.

Rocket: Yeah, but I’m not an obnoxious alcoholic like he is.

Dmitri: No, I’m just a friendly, horny alcoholic. (Gropes Rocket’s breast.)

Rocket: (Gives Dmitri a sharp left-hook.) That’s for my pressed-Russian collection. (He drops down cold.)

Laisandra: (Deadpan) Now that was funny.

Skylark: Um… whatever. I highly recommend Lady Cottington’s Pressed Fairy Book. It’s not really a kid’s book, but it’s highly enjoyable gallows humor with extremely adept artwork. This is Skylark signing off. Thank you for reading.

Rocket: Wow, the The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales was hard to read aloud.

Skylark: It was hard to listen to! OY! What crack were these people smoking? The illustrations were interesting in a hideous graphic-design-student-obsessed-with-Mirrormask-taking-way-too-many-hits-of-bad-acid-while-listening-to-Technohead sort of way. I think I needed to be high to enjoy this crap. Hmmm… speaking of getting high, do you have some junk? I’m in so much pain. I hate these idiotic opportunistic infections.

Rocket: No for junk you! Junk is how you got AIDS to begin with! Only medicinal herbs for you, because needles are drugs, and drugs are for losers.

Skylark: I did not get AIDS from shooting up junk, and for your information marijuana IS a drug.

Rocket: Whatever! You’re so off-topic. Let’s get back to the review.

Skylark: (Rolls eyes.) Okay.

Rocket: The drawings are fun. They’re pretty original and different in a freaky way. I totally dig interesting art.

Skylark: Rasputin Catamite is kind of like that, but I don’t hear you heaping on praise.

Rocket: Dude, that comic is just fucking gross. It’s too obsessed with asses and smuttery. Whatever that means. Is “smuttery” even a word? The Stinky Cheese Man is a kid’s book.

Skylark: I think you need a doctorate in child psychology to comprehend this stinky book.

Rocket: Maybe you just need to be a child. This book is for kids and not for little lit snobs like you.

Skylark: I hated it, and so will anyone with taste.

Rocket: I’m not so sure about that, but I think warped children will totally dig it. If you are not a child, be sure to get intoxicated or something before reading. It’s too weird when you are sober.

Skylark: Kind of like me. Sober people hate me.

Rocket: Totally! (Rocket bounces.) Hey that gives me an idea! Instead of you doing dangerous hard drugs, let’s drink Everclear until we vomit blood. That’ll be fun.

Skylark: Um… yeah. Thank you for reading.