Skylark: That was absolutely entrancing and relaxing.
Rocket: Where do you get these weird boring-ass CDs. I still can’t that damn rooster song out of my head.
Skylark: “The Chauncer Songbook” is neither boring nor weird. It is a meticulously researched journey back into the medieval era where music is sublimely performed with authentic instruments and divine compositions. The vocalists have a pleasant…
Rocket: Whoa, wait! Maybe the chick has a good opera voice, but that fat-sounding dude is just weird.
Skylark: Fat-sounding dude?
Rocket: Not that opera is even cool to begin with.
Skylark: Where do you get opera from? There is not a single operatic performance in this CD. It is engrossingly unpretentious medieval folk music.
Rocket: What do you mean that there’s no opera in this CD? It’s all about the opera! (Trying to sound operatic.) “IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII haaaava geeeeeeeeeeentile COCK!” That sounds pretty damn operamatic to me.
Skylark: Do you even know what the hell an opera is?
Rocket: Hell yeah.
Skylark: Englighten me.
Rocket: It’s old music, sang by fat people with really loud voices about cocks, kings, religion, maidens with boobs, sex, death and stuff.
Skylark: (Dumbfounded.) I can’t really argue with that. What about modern operas like “Jesus Christ Superstar,” “Tommy,” or R. Kelly’s “TP.3″?
Rocket: Operative word is “modern”, which means, “better”. Except for R. Kelly, unless you are into rap and crap like Eryk.
Skylark: “Modern” is not a synonym for better, and Eryk would never listen to R. Kelly. He is more into old school and underground.
Rocket: Modern is too better. Buffalo turds for heating houses: Old. Solar energy: Modern. TV: Old. Internet: Modern. Opera: Old. Metal: Modern. Jolt: Old. Red Bull: Modern. Auntie: Old. Me: Modern. See, modern means better.
Skylark: What about old Metallica versus modern Metallica.
Rocket: (Looking quite distressed.) Dammit! That totally ruined my theory.
Skylark: Are you aware of that there is a difference between theory, hypothesis, and blatantly uneducated guess.
Rocket: I bet you believe in evolution too.
Skylark: Where the hell did that come from?
Rocket: You believe in science fiction, and not in intelligent design. That shows that you are stupider than me, because everybody knows that G-d created the universe. It’s right in the Torah.
Skylark: You are so meshuga today. What is your deal? Have you been talking to those American Messianic idiots again? I saw them doing their silly mission work earlier today. Like they’re ever going to convert Poland’s stubborn-ass Catholics.
Rocket: They’re not idiots, they’re nice and they believe in Jesus. Their way seems to be the best one in helping me reconcile my Catholic upbringing and my Jewish wannabeness.
Skylark: Rocket, I hate to break it to you, but, Messianic Jews aren’t really Jews. They’re Christians with identity issues.
Rocket: Oh yeah, well Auntie says that Reform Jews aren’t real Jews either. She told me that Reform Jews are the ones that are lazy atheists-in-denial who think that it’s cool to wear stars and play dreidel, but not cool to pay attention to high holidays or keeping a kosher kitchen.
Skylark: Rocket my love, this is the point in our conversation when YOU EAT SHIT AND DIE!
Rocket: Ooh.
Skylark: (Forlorn.) My mom was born Jewish.
Rocket: Weren’t we reviewing this one lame opera CD?
Skylark: No, we were reviewing “The Chaucer Songbook” from Carol Lloyd Wood, a beautifully reconstructed collection of Medieval classics using traditional and orginal compositions that evoke authentic aural experiences from a bygone era.
Rocket: In other words, it’s crap that only appeals to scholars and anal Renaissance Festies who scream about not being “in period” if you wear a latex corset with your foofy skirt.
Skylark: Sometimes, I think that those Messianics are actually zombies who are slowly nibbling on your brain, until it disappears into their digestive track.
Rocket: That would be cool.
Skylark: Meshuga. I’m telling you, she’s totally nuts today.
Rocket: “IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII haaaava geeeeeeeeeeeeeentile COCK!
Skylark: Sorry about this and thank you for reading. She’s totally insane.
