Polska, Sucka!

Rocket: Wow, the The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales was hard to read aloud.

Skylark: It was hard to listen to! OY! What crack were these people smoking? The illustrations were interesting in a hideous graphic-design-student-obsessed-with-Mirrormask-taking-way-too-many-hits-of-bad-acid-while-listening-to-Technohead sort of way. I think I needed to be high to enjoy this crap. Hmmm… speaking of getting high, do you have some junk? I’m in so much pain. I hate these idiotic opportunistic infections.

Rocket: No for junk you! Junk is how you got AIDS to begin with! Only medicinal herbs for you, because needles are drugs, and drugs are for losers.

Skylark: I did not get AIDS from shooting up junk, and for your information marijuana IS a drug.

Rocket: Whatever! You’re so off-topic. Let’s get back to the review.

Skylark: (Rolls eyes.) Okay.

Rocket: The drawings are fun. They’re pretty original and different in a freaky way. I totally dig interesting art.

Skylark: Rasputin Catamite is kind of like that, but I don’t hear you heaping on praise.

Rocket: Dude, that comic is just fucking gross. It’s too obsessed with asses and smuttery. Whatever that means. Is “smuttery” even a word? The Stinky Cheese Man is a kid’s book.

Skylark: I think you need a doctorate in child psychology to comprehend this stinky book.

Rocket: Maybe you just need to be a child. This book is for kids and not for little lit snobs like you.

Skylark: I hated it, and so will anyone with taste.

Rocket: I’m not so sure about that, but I think warped children will totally dig it. If you are not a child, be sure to get intoxicated or something before reading. It’s too weird when you are sober.

Skylark: Kind of like me. Sober people hate me.

Rocket: Totally! (Rocket bounces.) Hey that gives me an idea! Instead of you doing dangerous hard drugs, let’s drink Everclear until we vomit blood. That’ll be fun.

Skylark: Um… yeah. Thank you for reading.