Polska, Sucka!

Polska, Sucka!’s completely irreverent book and thing reviews are back, after a 2-year disappearance. All reviews are done by the characters of the Suckaverse and are completely tasteless. Be sure to click on the Literate Illiterate tag to check them out.

Today’s review is for Lady Cottington’s Pressed Fairy Book by Brian Froud and Terry Jones. A special thanks goes out to Mark Masters for sending us a copy to review.
Rocket: For a kid’s book this thing sure has a lot of boobs.
Dmitri: Squeezy, mushed-up boobs.
Skylark: (Giggling stupidly through his nose until cackling bursts through.) How [...]

Rocket: Wow, the The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales was hard to read aloud.
Skylark: It was hard to listen to! OY! What crack were these people smoking? The illustrations were interesting in a hideous graphic-design-student-obsessed-with-Mirrormask-taking-way-too-many-hits-of-bad-acid-while-listening-to-Technohead sort of way. I think I needed to be high to enjoy this crap. Hmmm… speaking of [...]

Rocket: You tricked me! This was not a romance novel at all. I thought Bergstom was so nice when I started this book. Why do you make me read these things aloud? The descriptions were so beautiful; totally engaging to the senses and stuff and then…
Skylark: You also thought the Police’s “Every Move You Make” [...]

Skylark: That was absolutely entrancing and relaxing.
Rocket: Where do you get these weird boring-ass CDs. I still can’t that damn rooster song out of my head.
Skylark: “The Chauncer Songbook” is neither boring nor weird. It is a meticulously researched journey back into the medieval era where music is sublimely performed with authentic instruments and [...]

Rocket: What the hell are you doing with those scissors?
Skylark: I’m going to cut some pictures out of this Victorian clip art book, so I can decoupage this lunch box.
Rocket: (Snatches the book from Skylark’s hands in the nick of time.) Dude, this is not a Dover clip art book of Victorian art. This is [...]

Rocket: Finally, we got to see the Broken Saints website on broadband Internet rather than on dial-up.
Skylark: It looked pretty good, but Flash and slow Internet do not mix, so I am glad we finally have some decent web access.
Rocket: If you are going to explore this website, and all of the episodes and downloads [...]

The following is a really long review.

Rocket: Well it’s about time I read you something that doesn’t suck. I was kind of afraid that I would have to start taking Valium or something.
Skylark: Today’s book review is for Terry Pratchett’s delightful trifle, The Unadulterated Cat.
Rocket: It’s about cats that do weird things and mess with your mind, with quantum mechanics. Its [...]

Note to our readers: Rocket and Skylark are actually reviewing the Polish version of Snow White and Russian Red by Dorota Maslowska, so there may be some quirks in their review that may not correspond to the English version of the aformentioned book. – Vas
Rocket: What the hell did I just read?
Skylark: An absolutely [...]